Dear Family

Dear Dad's side of the Family,

I'm sorry I missed the brunch today.  I was looking forward to seeing you all but something got in the way, which I suspect was grocery store sushi.  While I felt as though my organs were exploding in my body in the wee hours of Saturday morning, it wasn't quite that dramatic, nonetheless, still very unpleasant and left for a day of recovery.  I hope to be seeing you sometime in the next month or so for a different occasion.    Here's what I intended to bring had we been able to join you:

Dill biscuits with smoked salmon, watercress and a creamy dill spread

Cucumber and smoked salmon with dill cream cheese spread

Photos courtesy of Closet Cooking.

The biscuits I made.  We better get eating.  We had 20...only 18 left to go as well as lots of fancy-cut cucumbers.

Jersey's Bar

Dear Jersey's Bar Manager,

We visited your establishment tonight, Wednesday, April 21st. It was my first time there and my boyfriend's 2nd time there. We chose to visit you since we had a $20 gift card we had won at a benefit and plus, we had a Happenings coupon, allowing us a total of $27 off of our bill, so we ordered an appetizer and two drinks in addition to our meals to make sure we had racked up enough to cover our discounts. The bill came to $33.17 and when the server ran our gift card, she came back to us and said it had a zero balance. We were shocked and told her we had received it as a prize at a benefit and she confirmed that it had no expiration date but still offered to do nothing for us. Because of the shock, we paid our bill in full without complaints with only our Happenings coupon discount, leaving nothing more than disappointed we drove to Inver Grove Heights for a burger. After speaking to someone in the industry afterwards, they told me that this is Jersey's fault and that they probably did not activate the card in the first place. Whether that's true or not, Jersey's.... please make it right for us.

Sincerely,

Two unsatisfied customers

To All You Posers

Dear Posers,

This letter includes, but not limited to, young females. There is a phenomenon that is sweeping the nation that I can no longer stay silent about and must voice my opinion. Most people I know smile when they are getting their picture taken. Some smile with their teeth and some do not. What I cannot take any longer is this pose I am seeing everywhere. Where did this come from? When did it start? I don't even know what to call it...The Zoolander Magnum Face, model pose, kiss pose, I-think-I'm-sexy-pose, etc. Girls, this pose looks stupid. No, you're not stupid, but all of your pictures are! Fast forward 20 years from now while looking through your pictures getting disappointed and thinking, Why the hell I am posing like that in every single photo? My advice to you is simple: Stop looking foolish and start smiling again.

Sincerely,

A Teeth Smiler


P.S. You are going to get premature wrinkles around your mouth if you continue this behavior.


Public pictures compliments of Flikr

If anyone can enlighten me regarding this movement, please do so. I'd love to hear your comments!

Dear Rush

Dear Rush Limbaugh,

You have opened your big fat mouth again.  You stated that you want Obama to fail.  To fail!  What kind of message are you sending America?  You have just said that you want America to fail.  If Obama fails, the country fails and parts of the world fail.  You then stated the next day that you were speaking of Obama's policies, not the person. You do not have to like him, as you obviously do not and I won't even pull the race card on you.  Well maybe I should since you know have a track record of this.  Remember Donovan McNabb and your comments about him being a black quarterback and how the media just wants him to do well because he's black?  Of course you do!  You resigned from ESPN's Sunday Countdown after your idiotic comments.  Last week with your failure comments on inauguration day and today with your comments that Obama is scared of you because Obama said you can't listen to Rush Limbaugh if you want to get things done, which was a comment that was more of a larger point of bipartisan efforts.  You are so arrogant for your comments and to think that he was really referring to only you.  Al Franken had it right when he wrote a book entitled, Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot.  You have a long history of offending people and saying inappropriate things.  It's disgusting that you make millions by being arrogant and making making immature statements. Maybe it's not your fault for your comments.  Maybe you're still addicted to the painkillers that you illegally obtained after years of being a hypocrite on your show stating that those convicted of drug crimes should be sent to jail.  Maybe it was the painkillers talking.  

  

Dear Kellogg's

Dear Kelloggs,

While I do not like milk and have not drank milk since I was 9 years old, I could not pass up the opportunity to purchase your new cereal, Frosted Mini-Wheats Blueberry Muffin. I read about this new cereal on Monday on the internet and I thought about it all week and that I had to have it. I finally was able to purchase your product at 10 pm Friday night. I was unable to wait until I got home to try this new cereal and tore open the box in the car. Those little frosted biscuits were just as delicious as I imagined them and built them up to be. After further examination of the box, it says you are willing to let me try this box for free through mail-in rebate. You've outdone yourself, Kellogg's! Way to go! While I crave the blueberry Muffin flavor, I cannot wait to try the Vanilla Creme, Cinnamon Struesel, Maple & Brown Sugar flavors also.

To the Jerk Driving the Escalade

Dear Jerk driving the Cadillac Escalade on 35E North just before the Little Canada Road Exit around 6:10 pm today,

The shoulder is not a lane. The shoulder is not to be used to "bypass" the rest of us who are stuck in traffic too. Your big, black, shiny, expensive vehicle does not give you a right or privilege to drive past the rest of us so you can get to exit ramp faster. I am getting off the freeway at the same place you are, as well as many others and we are waiting our turn until we can get there. We don't like being stuck in traffic either but we deal with it. So when I honked at you, you may have felt that flicking me off was the right thing to do but I wouldn't expect anything less from you. It's obvious your time MUST be more important than mine. I can see that by the multi-tasking you do...driving like a jerk and talking on the phone at the same time.

Sincerely,

A Courteous Driver